Don't Mess with Our Friends
by tmwillson3
Summary: One-shot! Post-Manga: What if, while the Hosts are in Barcelona during study abroad, they decide to go on another tour through the city by themselves? What if they happened to meet some unsavory characters who tried to rob Haruhi of her purse, and Hunny of his cake? Who actually is in bigger trouble because of it? TamaHaru, and lots of protective Hosts. Rated T for safety.


Don't Mess with Our Friends

**Author's Disclaimer: No, I don't own OHSHC. I just take advantage of the characters to make cute situations, or in this case, use them as a sort of therapy (see notes below for an explanation). It's a short, silly one-shot, even if it does start out rather seriously. But, if you know what I like (fluff!), then you know you have nothing to worry about. Anyways, on with the story! I hope you enjoy it! **

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"Come on, guys! I want to see the _real _Barcelona!"

The rest of the hosts just shook their heads at Tamaki and his odd quirks, but they went along with it, seeing as he would not stop, after saying the same thing for the last half hour. After all, how much trouble could they really get into?

Once Kyoya was free of familial commitments (AKA watching Nanako until she had finally explained herself to her father), the rest of the hosts still had a day before they had to head back to America to go back to school. After seeing the major tourist attractions with Nanako, they wanted to see the beach (such soft sand, and great water), while Tamaki wanted to find the "hidden gems" of Barcelona.

They had spent some time at the beach, and once they had enough, they left to explore the city. It was decided to visit the Old Town, or Gothic Quarter, seeing as it had some really beautiful architecture (between the Gothic churches and smooth, curvy buildings done by Gaudí), cobbled streets, and just enough people around to make them feel safe, giving the Ootori guards a few hours off.

As they walked, Haruhi insisted upon them attempting to speak in either English or Spanish, seeing as they were supposed to be practicing their English for school, but since they were in a foreign country, it seemed like a good idea to try to fit in. Tamaki was having trouble with Spanish, as he kept wanting to speak in French when certain cognates appeared. While they sat and enjoyed some gelato on that hot day, they quizzed one another (AKA Tamaki) about what certain words were.

"So this is a chair in English?" he asked, patting the old, wrought iron chair he sat on. "In French, it's a chaise, which is fine with me. But then, you have Spanish, and it's called what again?"

"Silla," replied Haruhi evenly, "since the two l's in Spanish make a 'y' sound instead. Does that make sense?"

"Maybe? I think so? I hope so!"

Tamaki looked as though he wanted to go find a dark corner down the street and grow some mushrooms, but he resisted valiantly.

"Give it a rest, Tono. Just go back to speaking English and call it a good day."

It was good practice for Haruhi, if nothing else. She was willing to be patient with Tamaki since he was trying. The rest were getting tired of the translation games, even the twins who loved making trouble and confusing Tamaki with vocabulary.

The only time that was more confusing for Tamaki language-wise had been when they had first entered Barcelona, when Tamaki began reading signs that had two languages on them, one in Spanish, and another that looked like French, even though it used certain Spanish words as well. Kyoya finally took it upon himself to explain that Barcelona had two official languages, Spanish and Catalan. As it so happened, Catalan had a lot of similarities to French, which was why it confused Tamaki so. After that, he tried not to read the confusing part of the sign.

But a little language barrier was not going to stop Tamaki. He just spoke in English perfectly, conversing easily with Haruhi, and occasionally Kyoya when he chose to add something. There were plenty of old, commoner shops that had things to interest most everyone, and some buildings had special decorations on them, providing plenty to comment on.

While walking along one of the side streets, Hunny's nose picked up on a sweet smell, which led him into a bakery. After a small cake was consumed with the rather meager help of Mori, Hunny bought a second cake to go, in case he got hungry later. It was a good bakery, and he intended to have someone come by later for more so that he could enjoy them on the plane ride back to America.

Cake in hand, the hosts set off down the street, and soon Tamaki wanted to head down a couple empty streets since he saw a fountain. They all went, saw the fountain, and Tamaki was satisfied. After that, they headed back to the more crowded areas.

It was while the group was discussing where they wanted to go next when suddenly a Spanish man, probably a little older than them, suddenly accosted them. He joined Tamaki and Haruhi mostly, squeezing himself in between them.

As the rest of the hosts looked at him with a little skepticism, the man turned to Tamaki and asked in broken English if he could point out a certain spot to him on his map. He was trying to find it, but was having trouble due to the small print.

Being Tamaki, he immediately tried to help the fellow out, stopping everyone to read the map carefully, asking Haruhi to help as well. She leaned in reluctantly, but just as she did, the man suddenly moved, revealing a knife. Suddenly, a second man appeared with a knife, and he quickly snatched Haruhi's purse, leaving everyone standing and gaping, though it was mostly Tamaki who looked a like a fish. To add insult to injury, the first man then ran ahead yelling something in Spanish to the other man, his accomplice, and as he ran away, he grabbed the white box containing Hunny's cake.

Once the two men were a little away, the hosts suddenly sprung into action. Tamaki looked indignant as he immediately closed the distance between him and his precious Haruhi, worried about her.

"Are you hurt, Haruhi? Please tell me the mean, horrible man did not hurt you."

The thought of Haruhi being rough-housed by either of those two men made Tamaki recall with clarity the night in Okinawa as he held her during the storm. Haruhi had just had two knives come past her, and he wanted nothing more to hold her and protect her, as only he could. As much as he wanted to go after those men, he was more worried about her.

"I'm fine, Tamaki-senpai. He didn't touch me, only cut the strings of my purse."

Once Tamaki knew that she was alright, his shoulders relaxed a little as a small breath was released. He then hugged her tightly, though not as tightly as one of his glomps, given the bad situation.

"It'll be alright, Haruhi. I'll cover anything you lost due to those wicked, unsavory men. In fact, I think I'm going to find a gourmet restaurant, so that we can find some fancy tuna for you to eat."

"It's not necessary, Tamaki-senpai. I just want to get my stuff back."

"Then it's a good thing we have a kendo champion among us right now! Look at him go with Hunny-senpai!"

As Tamaki worried over Haruhi, Kyoya brought out his phone, whispering some choice words to his security force about crime in broad daylight and being exiled Napoleon-style after what had just happened. Meanwhile, the twins hugged one another briefly after the near-death experience (since they had been on the other side of Haruhi), and then they tried to get to Haruhi, who was still being tightly held by Tamaki.

But it was none of them that the two robbers should have been worried about. Indeed, it was bad enough that they had the audacity to take the purse of the beloved hidden princess of the Host Club, but then they committed the ultimate sin: separate Hunny from his sweets. With that surprise cake-snatch, Hunny was soon ready to go take down some baddies, and Mori was not far behind him.

Really, only Hunny was needed to take down the two men with their sad excuses for weapons. No common pocket knife was going to stop a martial arts champion, and then add in a kendo champion…. Well, it was a forgone conclusion.

The "battle" was swift, with punishment meted out as it should. Hunny was the first to reach the first man, and he quickly kicked the legs out from under him, grabbing the cake and throwing it to Mori for safety. Mori gracefully grabbed it, set it down, and then began his attack upon the second man.

Soon, a loud tussle on the ground erupted as Mori sent the other man to the ground as well, and soon both Mori and Hunny were on top of the men, a tangle of limbs that soon turned into two bodies being tangled into one another.

Hunny was able to disarm the man quickly, grabbing the wrist holding the knife until the man was forced to let go, lest he lose all blood flow to his hand. Once he dropped the knife, Hunny swiped the knife, threw it far away, and then finished the job.

No evil man was going to hurt Haruhi, or steal his cake. No one came between Hunny and his cakes. Hunny was not one to enjoy hurting others, but this kind of violence made him mad and want to protect everyone from such a menace. No one was going to mess with _his _friends. If he punched the guy in the nose a little too hard, so be it.

Several well-placed kicks and a head-butt later, Hunny had the man screaming for mercy.

Meanwhile, Mori concentrated on disarming his guy, which was easy enough. The man saw what was happening to his partner in crime, the one who had first suggested attacking the group, and he was muttering, "Estamos locos", before he turned to look at the now-angry face of Mori.

Mori was usually an impassive guy, preferring not to get involved or show emotion, but there was a certain part of him that always needed to protect those he cared about, especially Haruhi as he had done in the past. Some days he had to stand up and fight.

Today was one of those days.

All he saw was a knife appear dangerously close to Haruhi, and if she was hurt, those two were about to feel a world of hurt. The purse was secondary to Haruhi's safety, but he was still angered by the men's plot and their cowardice. No one was going to mess with _his _friends.

Mori soon picked up the man by the collar, punched him in the face, and then kicked him in the stomach for good measure. The man dropped his knife in pain, whimpering on the ground after Mori dropped him again. Then, Mori threw the knife, and the rest of his kendo kicked in. Arms flew and legs kicked out flawlessly as he sent the man flying at the ground several more times before the man screamed for mercy as well.

The two heavily-injured men suddenly discovered that they were both on the ground, close to one another, so they slid along the cobbled street and clutched one another for safety, begging for mercy. The one finally took Haruhi's purse and threw it at the two males standing victoriously.

Mori grabbed the purse before turning to Hunny. The two champions stood proudly, gave each other a nod and small smile of satisfaction. Then, Mori nodded, and both took a step back to show that they would show mercy.

The only thing they said after that was said in unison, "Don't mess with our friends."

The two were not allowed to say any more, as it was then that the private police force of the Ootori appeared, SWAT team and all, weapons at the ready and scary in their black outfits and gleaming metal weapons.

The two injured men's mouths dropped wider than Tamaki's as they saw what came. More broken English came.

"Who _are _you? Secret American agents? Spies?"

"Don't answer them," responded Kyoya quickly, "they might try to escape and come find us."

The rest of the group had followed Kyoya slowly once the men were subdued, but they were trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of Kyoya's words. Haruhi felt a need to sweat drop or face palm as Kyoya immediately assumed, like the dratted rich guy he was, that those two men were not in fact just some hungry men trying to make a little money, but rather, criminals sent to infiltrate such a group of fine, rich people.

If that were the case, they had picked horrible men for the job. As it was, those two men probably would never ever _dream _of coming near them again, especially after such a takedown! Those two would be lucky if they had one limb with no broken bones in it.

With that, the private police force grabbed the almost-bandits and led them into a black limo so that they could be questioned and disposed of properly.

"Do you wish for a small contingent to be kept with you?"

"No thank you. As you can see, we're amply cared for by our champions. See to it that warm baths, the best Chinese food you can find, and sweets from this (motioning to the box of cake) bakery are in our rooms by the time we arrive. I expect we shall all need it. Have those men brought some food and medical attention so that we can question them properly tomorrow."

With orders given, the men all set off to do as instructed. Once they were gone, the hosts looked at one another for a moment, just glad to be alive.

"Haru-chan, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, Hunny-senpai."

"Your purse."

"Thanks, Mori-senpai. I appreciate it."

Mori smiled a little as he made his normal grunt of approval.

Tamaki loved the special moment that seemed to be happening so naturally, so he decided to move it along a little faster.

"Group hug! Everyone get over here, and that includes you, too, Kyo!"

Soon, all of the hosts were huddled around Haruhi, glad that their not-quite-secret princess was unharmed. The day had started out quite normally, but had ended quite differently than any had expected. But, the hosts had come together once again, ready to fight for one of their own, and they had won.

After the group hug, the group headed back home, all tired from their adventures. Hunny ended up eating the cake soon after leaving the accursed street, his stomach ready for more sweets, the perfect reward for helping his friends.

The group had dinner together, talking about the day as a whole. At first, they did not laugh at the incident, but it was not long before everyone was complimenting Mori and Hunny on their skills in taking down the thieves. After the compliments, they began to smile about how miserable the men looked, and Hunny almost felt bad for them, almost. With smiles and comparisons came laughter, and once they were all sated with good fancy tuna, they said their good-byes for the night before travelling back to America.

"See ya, Tamaki!"

"Chair!"

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**Author's Notes: Yes, I went there. I took Spanish in college, so I know conversational Spanish. I'm particularly fond of that greeting, with chair and silla since it sounds like "see ya". Also, in case you don't know that word, "Estamos locos" means "We're crazy". Finally, that's why you get some random knowledge about the Catalan language near the beginning. I've actually had a conversation with a friend who spoke in French, since I could understand about half from my knowledge of Spanish, and having spent time in Barcelona, I've seen enough of their signs to know that Catalan looks far more like French to me (and Wikipedia adds a little as well). **

**Barcelona is an interesting, beautiful place, and I have mixed feelings about it. I'd love to go back sometime and see more of the tourist attractions, especially Old Town. However, as I mentioned before, this story is therapeutic due to the mixed feelings I have for it. You see, while I feel bad sullying Barcelona's name with something like common theft, the truth is, three years ago (to the day), I travelled to Barcelona while studying abroad and was robbed. No, I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, but I wanted to be fair. There's crime wherever you go, but I know from firsthand knowledge that what the men did in this story is similar to other things that did happen there. I am making light of crime in this story, mostly because there is still the small part of me that wished I could have reacted in time to fight back. However, I survived the experience, and ended up getting most of my stuff back since it got dumped/found in a trashcan. Something to remember when studying abroad: don't travel alone and look like a tourist (especially American). Bad life choices.**

**So, that's where this story came from. That was probably way more information than you wanted, but there you go. It has lots of TamaHaru and protective Hosts, for those who enjoy it. I also really wanted to write something that focused a little more on Mori and Hunny, though it was still not much. I tried to keep them in character, but I might have gone a little overboard as they fought. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thanks for reading! **


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